Illinoir

Back in the day, Halsted and I would go to iHop (hah!) and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes and read from the Kinsey Institute Report on Sex. Why? Who knows? I’ve no idea how this tradition got started or what we were thinking. All I know is it was hilarious.

So, she visits, and for Christmas, brings me a copy of said report. Yippie! My own copy of the definitive report on sex and sexuality. It’s written like a FAQ (before FAQ’s were cool) and my current favorite question:

“Why is it called public hair when it’s in such a private place?”

The Institute’s answer, of course, is very thoughtful and understanding, explaining that it is “pubic hair” and named such because it’s in the pubic area, being named after the pubic bone, etc. etc. etc.

Got me thinking about what my response would have been.

“Oh lord, you idiot! Oh man, that is just hysterical. No, you fool, it’s -pubic- hair, not public hair. Oh man. Hey, John, did you hear what this guy asked? He thinks it’s -public- hair. Hoooo boy.”

Conclusion: damn good thing I don’t write an advice column.